The Next Seven Harry Potter Books

Not the Last Book

SPOILER ALERT!!!

If you've already read the "final" Harry Potter book, you know there's still much more life for Harry to live. Unfortunately, it involves a wife and kids. With his exciting days of fighting Lord Voldemort behind him, Harry Potter must now focus on other matters—including middle life. That's exactly what he'll be fighting in these next seven books:

Harry Potter and the Honda Odyssey
HP must find the most efficient and best-handling mini van for his young family (and his budget). His scar hurts briefly while negotiating the final purchase price. In the end, he gets free floor mats and under carriage rust protection.

Harry Potter and the Lasik Eye Surgery
HP decides to ditch the glasses to look younger. He worries a little about the surgery beforehand, but everything goes well. For a while he sees star bursts while driving his Odyssey at night. Over time, it goes away.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Miller Lite
HP struggles with depression. He briefly wishes Lord Voldemort was still around. There's an intervention (involving a speaking hat, a Phoenix, and Marge from next door), which finally gets HP off the couch and into Azkaban Rehab Facility.

Harry Potter and the Home Equity Line of Credit
HP snags a great interest rate and begins work on an addition (new family room, larger master bath). He's forgotten most of his magic, so he does the work by hand. He does remember a spell to make the paint dry faster.

Harry Potter and the Restrictive Neighborhood Covenants
After deciding to build a new fence around his house, HP realizes that the housing covenants only allow him to build a seven foot high privacy fence. He originally wanted an eight foot high fence. In the end, he compromises.

Harry Potter and the Book of Order
HP becomes president of the local high school Quidditch booster club. He learns parliamentary procedure. He never gets to use the gavel although he often wishes he could.

Harry Potter and the Uncomfortable Hogwarts Reunion
Thirty years later and the whole gang gets together for a reunion. Lord Voldemort reappears for one last gasp, but only has enough power to force someone to spill punch on HP at the dance. Mostly all the characters are just fat and unhappy and speak about old glory days.